The real change

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Changing

Every new year, we make up resolutions and goals to inspire us to go forth and achieve certain things during the year. Now I’m not going to go into whether we achieve them or not. That we’ll talk about later. My real concern here is when the real new year is and how it should be celebrated.

Your birthday is one of the most important days to take stock and change your habits for the better. Yes, we never stop making resolutions because we can always improve on different areas of our lives and become better people. I’m writing this post a week before my birthday because I’m taking stock and seeing what areas of my life I’ve done well and what really needs to change. Starting a week earlier will give me enough time to clear my head and work on myself. Also, I’m starting my 3rd year of university next week so I’ll also have a plan for my academic year. I’ve never done this before but I’m going to start and I want to share my plan with you because it could be helpful whether your birthday is fast approaching or is in the next year. You could always look back at this blog for reference.

Here are a few things to do before your birthday for a successful year.

1. Be grateful 

Acknowledge that you’ve come so far and be grateful for another year added to your life. That means that you still have a lot to fulfill in life and you’ve got to work out ways to fulfill them. Write down what you’re grateful for in a notebook.

2. Your notebook

You need to have 2 notebooks every year. One for the start of the year and the other when you turn a year older. Why? The first one is where you write your goals, daily plan and track your progress. The next one is where you write what you’re grateful for, spiritual matters, how you’re feeling, songs you like, poems to inspire, books you plan on reading, how to think positively or how you want to inspire others. (See my birthday notebook above).

3. Get a GOOD book

A good book while inspire you and change your perspective. Write a realistic list of books you will be reading as the year goes by to remind you to keep dreaming big and working on your goals. I’m now reading ‘The Subtle Art of not Giving a F*ck’ by  Mark Manson and my perspective about things is changing. I’m now learning what I should really care about in life.

4. Take care of yourself 

Monitor your health. Are your eating habits alright? Is there something you need to change in your diet? You could also do a general medical check up to ensure you’re in good health. Have you been exercising? Do you eat fruits and vegetables? Do you take enough water? Is your skin and hair healthy? Could you be using any harmful products? Do you monitor your screen time? These are the questions to be answered in your birthday notebook.

5. Relationships

You need to have healthy relationships with others. This is the time to forgive yourself and forgive others. Make things right and be intentional about your relationship with other people.

6. Review

Do a review of your previous year in your birthday notebook. Look at what you have achieved. Whether you’re happy with what you’re doing, who you are and who you’re with e.g your career choice, job, friends and lover. Check on your financial status and how you can improve on it. Save more if you need to.

7. Get a theme

Write down what your year will be about. You can have a theme and remind yourself every morning about it. Your theme could be ‘Hygge’, ‘Grace, love, light’, ‘Grind, God, Focus’. Just about anything that will inspire you.

8. Fabulous

Fabulous is an app that will help you develop good habits. It reminds you to read your bible, be grateful, drink water, eat healthy. You could take 10 minutes daily to set up habits and track your progress using this app. So download it and see what works for you.

9. Be ready

Prepare your mind for change. Be optimistic and purposeful about this change. Go without fear and without turning back, And in those bad days when you forget why you started, open your notebook. This is why you need to write things down.

10. Plan on how you want to spend you want to spend your birthday

Write what you’ll do when you wake up, where you want to spend your birthday, what you’re going to eat, who you want to spend your birthday with. You don’t have to spend so much money on this day if you don’t have the means. Doing this may start your new year on a really bad note. What’s more important than spending so much money on this day is how you’re feeling. Stay happy, stay positive.

Until next time,

21 and still savvvvvvy,

Chelsea

 

When You’re at the Edge

 

I attended a church session on rejection and depression, first because I really had never paid attention to these two issues and I wanted to educate myself, secondly because I wanted to look out for myself and others. Of course I already had a preconceived idea that it would be boring since I honestly had no in depth knowledge about rejection and depression. I’ve seen campaigns and articles about these two issues but unfortunately it just hadn’t hit me yet. Not because I’m perfect and my life is so great, sincerely, I’ve had days that I’ve hit rock bottom but because I hadn’t paid attention to myself, to others and to events. I also, fortunately or unfortunately, grew up believing that we’ve just got to be strong cause it’s life and life is just life. But I was so wrong. I now realize that the feelings we ignore come to later manifest in very many ugly ways like selfishness, anger, pessimism, narcissism and the list is endless.

At the Edge

During the session, I was thinking about the many times I’ve been at the edge. Just about to jump off the cliff. The verge between choosing to manage your problems or letting them manage you. I suddenly knew that I have been able to go through a lot. Having gone through them doesn’t mean that they were easy or irrelevant but that somehow I chose, consciously or subconsciously, to do something about them, whether it be sleeping, doing things that make me happy, talking to friends, reading and drawing. I thought of the many things I had thought of doing out of anger and desperation and I was very grateful that I hadn’t done them. Even though I didn’t deal with the problems immediately, I put them off until I was ready to think clearly through them. It helped me survive and live through it to share it with you and others.

Rejection

Rejection can be perceived or real. A perceived rejection may come out of fear therefore you already believe that you have been rejected without even trying while a real rejection is real. You could be and will be rejected from a job, by friends, lovers or even yourself. Yes, yourself. For example by not paying attention to yourself and your feelings or believing negative things about yourself or always being pessimistic about your life or even not taking good care of yourself. Rejection hurts but one way to deal with it is to prepare yourself for it and understand yourself well. Think of why you’re being rejected. If its something that you can change then change it if you want to, if necessary. But if it’s something you can’t change then whoever can’t accept you is being unfair and maybe prejudiced and you don’t need them.

When it comes to rejecting yourself, you need to think about why you don’t treat yourself well. It could be because of circumstances, careless words other people say and you think about it until you believe it or lack of will and determination or belief in yourself. Work out ways to believe in yourself more. Have a plan and purpose for your life.

There will also come a time when you will have to reject others. Do so if you need to but remember that they’re human. It’s not easy, but letting other people go is so much better than leading them on with no intention of having them in your life. Let them go when you let them go. You might have guilt and want to be friends or lovers or colleagues again but it’s better to be clear where your relationship with the other person stands. Forgive them and forgive yourself.

On purpose

Everything happens for a reason. To teach you something or help you avoid a danger you hadn’t foreseen. You’ve got to trust that God has great plans for you and He won’t let you go. So hold on when you’re at the edge. Your problems won’t magically disappear but with time, you’ll see that it all worked out for the good of yourself or someone else.Try to be positive and see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s not easy but when you do that, you will survive.

Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning. ˜Psalms 30:5

Until next time,

Purposefully savvvvvy,

Love, Chelsea.

 

 

 

Corner Couch

All alone, whether you like it or not, alone is something you’ll be quite a lot

∼Dr. Seuss

Picture this: 

You’re waiting for a friend somewhere. It could be by the road, in a coffee shop, a restaurant or just any random social place. It’s been 5 minutes and they haven’t arrived yet. You’re practically glancing at your watch every second, getting pretty impatient. A random person comes and stands/sits by you, probably waiting for someone too or just minding their own business. It starts getting pretty awkward after a while and you’re thinking that this person thinks you’re idle or bored. Then you remember that you have company. You’re phone. Lifesaver. But you have nothing to do with your phone and even if you do, you’re too anxious to concentrate or annoyed at your friend for being so late. So you scroll through random apps or listen to music -unless you’re the selfie- taking millennial you should be- and you heave a sigh of relief as your friend arrives.

I’ve been in such awkward situations before but not anymore. Not because people started coming early or because I’m the one who arrives late and absolutely not because I never have my phone. I do. But I have a reason and I’ll tell you why.

Corner Couch

We’re not comfortable with being alone and worse, we’re not comfortable with people thinking that we’re alone. That’s why our first instinct when we’re alone around people is to pull out our phone even we have absolutely nothing to do with it. This is not only toxic because it shows that we care a little too much about what people think but also because it shows that we can’t be be our own company (which in turn shows that we have a poor relationship with ourselves).

So the first problem but definitely not the worst, is that we care a little too much about what other people think. We pull out our phones not because we want to, but as a reaction to other people’s thoughts or feelings. The moment we prioritize what other people think instead of paying attention to our own thoughts, we forfeit our own peace of mind. The only time we should care about other people’s thoughts is when we need their feedback or ideas about an issue or maybe a project, in order to see whether we are heading in the right direction. But at the end of the day, their word should not be final but ours. On top of that, the only time other people’s opinions should matter is when you can truly trust that they want the best for you and you can logically see that it is the best decision to make. Otherwise, other people’s thoughts, feelings or opinions on your life are trash and should stay in their heads.

The second problem and the worst is that we have a poor relationship with ourselves. We’re not used to being our own company and we don’t know what to do when we find ourselves alone. That’s why we consult our phones, which as a matter of fact cannot replace the comfort, interaction and life that we find in the heart to heart contact with a human, even ourselves. And then you ask, “But Chelsea, what should I do as I wait for my ride to work?” Worry no more because I’m gonna show you how take the corner couch and be comfortable in it in just 1 step.

Acknowledge that you’re alone and i’ts okay to be alone. People are probably too busy minding their own business so don’t fret. Take two deep breaths and just be grateful for life. Remind yourself that you are your best company. Notice things and people. Be happy and look around. See the beauty around you as you hear the background of human chit chat. Take notice of people’s fashion and kindness. Feel the warmth of the sun or watch the rain as it drops. Read a book if you have one. Talk to someone if you can. Complement someone. Check in on your thoughts and keep them positive. Dream and live. Think about someone you love. Order a cup of coffee and a croissant if you can and feel the flavours. Give a tip. 

If you learn to spend time alone, you’re not only enjoying yourself but also you don’t have to be around toxic people just because you’re afraid of being alone. I know that it’s not easy to do but like everything else, it needs effort and practice. Grab a cup of coffee and a book, take the corner couch and get fuzzy.

To be alone is not to be lonely

Until next time,

Alone and Savvvvvvvvvy,

Chelsea with hearts.

 

-Photo in this post taken by Chelsea.

 

 

Chocolate Cravings and Beautiful Things

chocolate cravings and beautiful things

I really really love chocolate and beautiful things and what keeps me focused on my goals is so that I can be able to live the life that I truly desire. And there’s really nothing wrong with going after your goals. Talking about goals, I promised to share with you my 8 new year’s goals. I hope they inspire you.

1. Master myself

One of my major goals this year is to become more confident and optimistic. I’d like to have a better outlook towards life and develop my career, creativity and music. I’d like to create my own brand, to honour my struggle and to just be myself. I’d also like to tag others along with me in the journey of self- discovery. I’m also Christian and I love the Lord and I hope to have a more personal experience with Him.

2. Perfect my Languages

I’ve been learning French and Spanish and I really want to perfect those two languages, so I hope to finish learning French level C1 and do my Spanish level A2 exams.

3. Make good progress in my music

I love love love playing the piano and guitar. I’ve made such good progress in both instruments but I put guitar on hold for a while to solely focus on piano. I’m in level 3 and I hope to do my level 2 exams by the end of the year.

4. Get better grades at school

This is really important for me because I’m really passionate about the career I hope to do so I’d like to get more focused and read more to understand my field better.

5. Chocolate cravings and beautiful things

I’m a spend thrift. Truth is I have chocolate cravings and I love beautiful things but I have to learn how to save more – 30% of every income- to save for my masters and to develop my creative career. I’d also like to save to upgrade this blog and be more frequent in posting this year.

6. Health

This is about my health and yes, I want to take care of my physical and mental health. To take more water and get enough rest each night so that I have enough energy for the next day and I’m able to serve with excellence. Also, since jogging in the morning is a bit too hard for me, I plan to exercise in the evenings just to keep my heart running.

7. Live my life

I realize that life can get too fast and there can be a lot of pressure to be the best right now. But its okay to be where I am and embrace every step of the way. This is the year that I choose to do my thing no matter what anyone else thinks, says or does. I’m also determined to keep the friends that are truly there for me and to avoid negative energy always.

8. Love

I’d like to show more love to my family and to the community. I’m also unclear of what I want in a man (when I know it I’ll share it with you guys), so I don’t think I want to fall in love any time soon until I’m surely certain about what I want. However, I’m a hopeless romantic and if I meet anyone who meets my needs, you’ll be the first to know.

These are my new year’s goals. I keep them few and achievable because every small step I make is important for me. I hope my goals inspire you and in case you find it hard to make or follow through goals, let me know in the comment section below and I’ll do a post on how to set achievable goals. I wish you the best as you achieve your goals this year.

Till next time,

2019 savvvvvvvvvvvvy,

Yours,

Chelsea.

Disclaimer: The image in this blog has been retrieved from Chocolate cravings and beautiful things